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I'm hungry.

Lillian and DaddyYes, I’ve been a slacker. Being a new mom is not conducive to well, anything except nursing, changing diapers, and trying to sleep. In addition, we’ve been dealing with some digestive issues with Lillian that have necessitated me cutting out dairy and soy. Do you know how hard it is to avoid all dairy and soy? Really freaking hard. Pretty much eating out and any prepared food at all – anything that comes frozen or bottled – is out. I now have to read ingredient lists obsessively, call restaurants in advance and ask about what they cook with, and mostly just cook all my own food. And while this is probably way healthier than the plethora of junk food we enjoyed during Lillian’s first six weeks, it is very time consuming. I’m kind of over it. It’s been three weeks so far and there’s no end in sight. Some of Lillian’s more distressing symptoms are gone (specs of blood in the diaper, discomfort) but some remain (lots and lots of green poop. you asked).

Have you ever heard of soy lethicin? Neither had I until this happened. It’s in EVERYTHING. And so is soy oil. Crisco, margarine, and vegetable oil are all made from soy. It turns out soy is way harder to avoid than dairy.

On the plus side, we’ve re-upped our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture – weekly organic vegetables) subscription and have started shopping at the farmer’s market on the weekend. I’ve also become a huge fan of Jamie Oliver’s Food Nation. He’s right – there are way too many ingredients in most of the food we get at the store. Everything at the farmer’s market is made locally and doesn’t have ingredients you don’t recognize. It’s nice. We’re subsisting mainly on rice, vegetables, and meat. And that’s not a bad thing really. Because bacon is meat. Bacon is my new cheese.

Meanwhile, the baby is doing great. Her skin looks great, she’s sleeping great. She’s cute as a button. Well, cuter because who ever said buttons were cute? But she’s dang cute. She’s 10 weeks old, is hopefully approaching 10 lbs, and is 10x more fun than she was a few weeks ago. Lots of smiling, happy shrieking, scooting, and general trouble-making. And mama is having a hard time not buying her cute new clothes every day.

Lillian and Daddy

Hanging out with Daddy


Rocking the Bjorn

Two months!

Modeling the latest in Carter's Coture

In Which Things Seem to Slow Down

Sometime in the last several days I think I swallowed a bowling ball. Suddenly, dragging my sad carcass around is getting really difficult and increasingly painful (again). I can only hope that I get some kind of third trimester second wind before it gets really bad. My yoga teacher said I may be experiencing a lot of pain because I was already very flexible before all the relaxin hit my body. If this is true, then amping my my walks may help some.

I wish I could say I was sitting around eating truffles and relaxing, but I don’t have a lot of room in the belly for food and while I do spend a lot of time sitting, it gets uncomfortable too. Sleep is getting more elusive because of the pain and stiffness. What I wouldn’t give for a handful of Advil right now. I’m still going to yoga as much as possible, my body doesn’t seem to disagree with that too much.

Mostly it’s terribly scary to realize that the baby is going to double in size over the next few weeks and I already feel like a beach ball filled with lead. I guess my body will deal, somehow.

We had a nice, low-key holiday with minimal activity. I cooked a few things, but mostly just relaxed with David. We got ourselves a Kindle with a nice gift card from my parents. Guess what? You can read with it one handed! This bodes well for feeding and reading at the same time. I guess I should work on my one handed typing as well. We also got a nice blanket and cute outfit for the baby (she’s not even out yet and she’s getting Christmas presents) and best of all, David and his dad finished work on the nursery! Now it’s up to me to put things away and get on the decorating. It looks really nice. I hope the glider gets here soon, because it’s a neat room to hang out in. Pictures when it’s cleaned up a bit, right now it’s covered in baby clothes and power tools.

One thing I am not short on is clothes. Two big batches of hand me downs from two generous ladies makes for a well-dressed kid. Right now I’m just trying to figure out how to best organize everything so it’s ready when she gets home. I’ve also already got some great blankets, socks, shoes, hats, and various other things. This child will not be lacking in the fashion department. And in spite of my physical complaints, I’ve gotten a good start on organizing and storing them all. So glad we re-purposed grown up furniture that has room!

Time to stagger  back into the living room and socialize with my husband.

Shopping for baby stuff is a blast; shopping for maternity clothes BLOWS


WTF? It's like a denim potato sack.

Grumble. I ordered a few things from Old Navy Maternity several weeks back and it all fit just fine. But I stuck with stuff that looked like it was sized a little smaller. I got a larger shipment of things I’m going to need for work and winter today and it SUCKED. This stuff hangs down to my knees! And my belly is already good and big, so I can be sure that it’s all not going to magically fit in a month. Plus I need stuff NOW. My work outfits are getting scary looking and I don’t want to scare my clients, thanks. Being petite, round, and pregnant sucks. There’s no such thing as a petite maternity top. I end getting stuff that’s cut loose around the hips and sizing down as much as I can to keep things as short as I can.

Pants and jeans have been relatively easy to find, it’s the tops that are so challenging. So I’m sending back most of what I ordered and this afternoon I dragged my ass to the mall (how I loathe thee). Why is it that maternity designers think that getting pregnant makes you age 20 years? Some of this crap is so matronly my grandmother wouldn’t wear it. Harumph.

Anyway, I found a couple of blouses, a cardigan, and a good pair of essentially yoga pants masquerading as slacks. I still need some kind of sweater coat that doesn’t brush the floor so TMQ and I don’t freeze to death during the 3 days of really cold weather here.

I’m starting to feel the pull of gravity more acutely. The round ligament pain makes it harder to get around, and especially to get up from a low seated position. My lower back is just plain pissed. But we persevere with the walking, and I think it helps more than it hurts. I think I’m starting to feel some movement, but it’s hard to tell at first. I keep feeling like she’s bopping me in the same part of my low abdomen. We get to peek at her next week when we go for the anatomy ultrasound.

Much Better

Early September at ZilkerThe perinatal office called me this morning to let me know that the early amnio results are all good. Whew! That is some seriously stress-causing stuff, I tell you what. We should have final results late this week or early next, but all the major trisomy and sex chromosome stuff has been ruled out. Did I mention HUGE RELIEF? Cause, yeah.

They also confirmed the girlness. I will henceforth be referring to her as either Tiny Miss Quimby or Tiny Josephine (instead of Napoleon – get it?). The name is going to remain secret until she makes her debut, so don’t ask.

Now all I have to worry about is surviving another 5 months of pregnancy, getting the room together, getting all the stuff we need, and oh yeah – childbirth! I’ve heard it’s all easy and fun like ice cream and puppies, right? Right?

Other fun facts about my pregnancy so far. I’ve lost about two pounds since my first pre-natal appointment. Which means I’ve probably lost a few pounds more in body fat, since TJ is growing. I’d be worried, but she’s five ounces now which is a good size for 16 weeks. I’ll take it! Makes it easier to shop for clothes since they’ll probably fit all the way through.

Now the challenge is to NOT buy all the cute baby clothes I see and to start making a plan for the room, which needs new paint and carpet. And interviewing Doulas. And lots of other stuff.

In which I start to receive stuff

0900631b81713381LMy sister in law gave me this yesterday. It’s even cuter in person. She’s very anxious for me to find out what flavor of child I’m having, but she couldn’t resist something gender neutral in the meantime. And did you see the little duck feet?

Sorry, I almost lost my cantankerous there for a second. I’m back. Things are chugging along. I’m wearing a maternity shirt today and it fits, pretty much. I just need a few more shirts that aren’t falling apart from overuse and I’ll be cool. Funny, no one is rushing out to buy me cute clothes. Of course, I’m not going to outgrow mine forever each week. Hopefully.

The nausea is still a lot better, though not gone. I’m thinking about ditching the medication in the morning tomorrow and seeing if it’s cool. I’m still going to take it in the evenings until the ick totally abates. My butt injury is also somewhat better, yay for massage and ice. Because icing your ass is glamorous and cool. Just ask David.

Almost forgot! It has magically fallen under 100 degrees here in Austin for the last 4 days. For the first time since sometime in June. Apparently we are one day short of the record for the most days over 100. And I’m okay with not breaking that record, really.

Slightly betterish.

The nausea has been better during the day, and I seem to have a bit more energy. This is good. I’m still battling it in the evenings so maybe that will die down soon as well. I got a call from the perinatal office today and my amnio got moved up by a few days, so I should know the flavor of kid we’re having on Sept. 17th. Unfortunately, we will have to wait the weekend for the amnio results. I’m obviously a bit stressed about all that, just want it to be over and for the kid to have the right number of fingers and toes and chromosomes.

On a lighter note, I got some clothes today I’d ordered from Old Navy maternity. Best. Jeans. Ever. And a tee shirt that actually fits and doesn’t hit my knees, and a good cardigan for the fall. Woo!


no coffeeYesterday I had a delicious Chocolate Chipotle Chai at The Steeping Room, one of my favorite places in town. It was very tasty. And one of the stupidest things I’ve done in a long time.

I quit caffeine about a month before I got pregnant, because I realized I had to quit Xanax pronto. It’s a class D drug which means BAD for the fetus. So to control my anxiety I quite caffeine and exercised more. It was a rough transition, but it really did work. I had no idea how much the caffeine was contributing to my anxiety, insomnia, and general freakiness. I’d forgotten how much anxiety I had in the evenings (which is what habituated me to the Xanax).  I think the pattern started when I was in grad school and working full time. Have to be alert and functional, have to sleep. But I’m seriously glad I stopped both of them. Seriously.

So yesterday I have this chai, thinking no big deal. I’d had a cafe au lait in New Orleans to no ill effect (but I’d walked a lot after, so I think I must have burned it off). This time was NOT GOOD. Stomachache, anxiety, increased nausea, and about 5.5 hours of sleep choc filled with anxiety dreams about miscarriage, amnios, and breastfeeding in New York City with no burp cloth. Don’t ask, I have no idea what that was about. It’s the second dream I’ve had where the baby suddenly arrives and I have no idea what to do – I haven’t taken any classes yet on breastfeeding or changing diapers or WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS TINY NONVERBAL CREATURE. Am I worried about being under prepared? Maybe a bit.

No more caffiene for me. That stuff is whack. I hope I can stay off it post-birth, because I really think it’s bad for me.

bbandIn other news, this rocks. I can pull out my pants and jeans again and probably wear them for a couple more months. Yay! The one I got is called a Be Band and is available at Target. There’s a more expensive version by the same brand, and about a thousand other versions out there. Very useful, very economical.

Mourning the loss

goodbye…of my waist. It seems to be disappearing. I’ve always had a proportionately small waist. Until now. A friend referred to it as “tree trunk syndrome” and I’ve come down with it. Somebody please tell me I can have my waist back after I give birth! How else will I carry the kid around on my hip? He/She’ll slide off!

I’m finding pre-natal yoga more and more useful these days. It’s very good to be able to compare notes with other pregnant ladies. Most seem to have some level of nausea in the first trimester. Some have it BAD. The teacher last night was also quite pregnant – she said she’d hadn’t been able to hold down water until she got medication. Yikes! One lady hadn’t had nausea, she’d had constant heartburn. Which blows, because that usually doesn’t happen a lot until the third trimester. What’s reassuring about all this is there is no map. Your body has been taken over by aliens. There is no normal.

Oh, and someone recommended this. It’s basically a big sock that you wear over your unbuttoned/unzipped pants or skirts. Instant maternity wear! I’m getting one.

New Developments

bellyI think I’m officially showing. While of the round persuasion, I tend to carry my weight in back. Until I got pregnant — and all those bellydancing abdominal muscles didn’t go in anymore, they went out. But I didn’t look pregnant, I just looked like I’d been eating a lot of donuts (when in reality I’d been eating as little as possible). As of yesterday, I think I look a teensy bit pregnant.

I’m stuck in the no-woman’s land between not-maternity and maternity clothes. I definitely live in my Motherhood maternity jeans. I still fit in my old jeans fine, but I can’t stand any pressure on my waist when I sit down, so they’re in the “don’t open until Easter” box. But maternity blouses are insanely long, it’s waaaay to early for those. Luckily, I have enough blousey shirts to get me through the next couple of months.

Nausea seems to be better in the morning, gets worse in the afternoon. But when I think back to how bad it was a few weeks ago – damn. I ate actual Indian food last night! Three weeks ago I could barely stomach rice. This is an improvement.Odd aches and pains come and go, I’ve decided to just ignore them mostly. I think if I try to stretch them out too much I’ll do more damage than good.

Road Trip!

Most of my updates are going on over at my main blog, including photos. On the pregnancy front, still sick on and off. Still getting used to eating when I’m not hungry and not eating as much when I am. Screw up either proposition=badness. The road trip wasn’t bad, all things considered. The Sea Bands continue to help quite a bit, though not always. I broke down and bought a pair of maternity jeans. Holy Cats, are they comfortable. And cute! You’d never know. There’s a big outlet center right near our hotel with a Motherhood store. But as with most outlets, it a sham. Pretty much the same as at any regular store, with a few more sale items. Lame. Still, they have those nausea lozenge things and jeans, so I’m good.

There’s also a Vietnamese restaurant in stalking distance, which is major happy for my tummy. I can’t tolerate a whole lot of rich food, so it hits the spot. Also, without going into any detail whatsoever, jalepanos are now on the BAD BAD BAD list. I’ll leave it at that.

Emotionally I’m still having a hard time adjusting to the massive changes in store, but David is really possibly the best husband ever, and has been very supportive. He’s diving right now, on my insistance. He didn’t bring the camera, but I’m hoping he takes another dive before we go and snaps some photos.

That is all.