My body continues to be weird. I’m finding some kind of balance between the two medications referenced in the last entry. The nausea stuff doesn’t work all the time, but it’s still better than before. My latest fun is  old injuries cropping up and disappearing randomly. I’ll stretch out one area and it will move to the other side. It’s odd and frustrating. I don’t know how much just to work through these things, or how much to lay off. It’s really unlike normal little pulls or pains. I guess trying to be sane about it is best. There’s this whole thing where your body produces relaxin, which loosens up your ligaments and stuff. So I’m trying to stretch out the injured feeling areas, but not too much. And exercise anyway, but not too much.

I made it through a weekend of belly dancing, including a competition. I wish I’d had the stamina to take more classes. I think in general I’ve been lounging a bit too much, but I hate going outside right now, even getting in and out of my car. Still, inactivity is hard on my body and brain, so I think I’ll try to take more excursions this week. Maybe even do some photography if its reasonably cool in the mornings. I still mean to drag David to the gym some nights, mindless air-conditioned cardio is fairly appealing right now.

The nice thing about the nausea meds is I don’t have to eat all the time.  I think they make me a bit more tired. Still, I’m getting more sleep overall now which is probably good.

It’s totally bizarre how people treat you when you’re pregnant. If asked,  I’m honest about how difficult it’s been so far, I get a lot of “well you wanted this,” and variations of “buck up, little soldier!” (though not from other mothers, they just wince and say “oooh, sorry”)

One of the most profound I’ve  learned from group therapy is how difficult it is to just let other people have their feelings. I struggle as much as anyone else with trying not to fix, or dismiss, or minimize other people’s pain. And I mean well when I do those things. But it’s amazing how much more healing it is for the other person when you just let them have their feeling and don’t judge, don’t fix, and don’t prescribe. Indulging in those behaviors is  often just us trying to ease our own discomfort — not theirs.  I think letting people have their feelings shows faith in their ability to deal with the emotion/situation, where the other responses tend to communicate doubt. All I know is, it’s a big relief when someone just says,  “I’m so sorry,” or “I hope you feel better soon.” It certainly is a good reminder for me to do the same.

Being pregnant, at least right now, is like having a low level stomach flu most of the time. Now if I had one of those normally, I’d be at home drinking lots of fluids, not eating much, and resting. The weirdness of pregnancy is you actually need a good dose of that prescription, but also the opposite. You have to try and stay somewhat active, you have to eat (more than you want to), and too much time alone is not good for the brain. I don’t think there’s any perfect balance, just daily adjustments.

I’m ten weeks on Thursday, two moreish until the end of the first trimester. My doctor said the nausea should be tapering off this week. I hope so! Looking forward to what is supposed to be the fun phase. In pre-natal yoga everyone does kind of a check in at the beginning. The 2nd trimester women are always, “I’m great!” I want to go to there.