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Parallel Universe

I swear, job hunting in this town is just like dating in this town. You post your online personal/resume and inquire about interesting people/positions. Prospective dates/employers contact you and you begin conversation/flirting/negotiations. You have a phone conversation/interview. You have a first date/on site interview. You wear your nicest clothes and try not to seem too slutty/desperate (even if you are). You try to keep you wits about you by not drinking too much tequila/coffee. You want to come across as witty/intelligent and attractive/a good investment.

Then the date/interview is over. You wait by the phone. You check your email constantly. You try and predict whether or not your date/possible future boss liked you, how long it will take them to contact you, whether or not you should contact them. You imagine possible future scenarios, both good and bad. You come up with wild theories for why they haven’t called you yet.

And of course, you face the inevitable rejections that come with dating/job hunting. Your date/interviewer says, “I really enjoyed our dinner/interview, I’ll be contacting you very soon. When are you free/what is your availability next week?” And then… crickets. Or the classic lame excuses: “I couldn’t call, my cell phone died and my toilet overflowed.”/ “I got swamped and we decided to go with someone else (so I didn’t bother to tell you I’d canceled your interview or given the contract to someone else).”

The emotions that go along with these two scenarios are about the same. One is about the hope of future happiness, while the other is about future paying of bills, but both tend to affect how I feel about myself, at least temporarily. Both also take a certain amount of resilience, and a good sense of humor.

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