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Two Years Ago


Two years ago in Hawaii

Hard to imagine that it’s already been two years since we eloped in Hawaii. And what I wouldn’t give to be in Hawaii right now. But the oncoming train of parenthood is making us a bit more circumspect in our spending habits, so we’re having a staycation. While the last two years have brought a lot of change in our lives, I’m so very glad we decided to get hitched.

Not So Neutral

I tend to stay off politics on my blog, mostly. I’m a big fan of dialogue between people with different beliefs. I think that tolerance isn’t really tolerance, unless it includes the people you think are intolerant. As a generally raging liberal, I’m dismayed by the massive generalizations I hear other liberals making about people who don’t vote or philosophize or believe as they do. I can never get my brain around how our generalizations and judgments are less intolerant than the generalizations and judgments of those who have different beliefs than us. You know?

So while I do tend to take a Democrat party line on most issues, I try to listen as much as proselytize. But on one issue I get fairly emotional, and that’s gay marriage. The status of gay people has changed massively in my lifetime. From something that was rarely spoken about when I was a kid, we now have openly gay public figures, and increasingly equal rights for gay partners. I am very happy about this. I’m not happy about the fact that my gay friends and relatives and business associates can’t get married in Texas (and possibly California). That their rights are restricted legally and socially.

Homophobia, like any fear of the “other” is something that tests our humanity daily. As human animals, we fear what we don’t understand or what we perceive threatens us. As human beings, we have the ability to transcend those impulses and connect to our kinship with all humans. (And I can’t personally conceive of a God who doesn’t intend that we do just that.) Our recent election showed us and the rest of the world that human beings can evolve and change. That long held, deep prejudice can be replaced with acceptance and love.

So when someone tells me that gay people shouldn’t be allowed to marry, or that being gay is a choice, or it’s immoral, I think of the people I love who are gay. I have several close friends who have been essentially married to their partners for a decade or more. So to me, it’s like saying, “Your friend, who is in love and happy and leads a fulfilling life, should to be alone or celibate or should force themselves to be with someone who they can never truly connect to. Your friend doesn’t deserve to be happy because I’m uncomfortable with the fact that they are gay.”

That’s what I hear, and I just can’t stomach it. It’s not a broad social issue to me. It’s about the happiness of the people I love, and a deep sense of confusion about how other people I love would wish such a thing upon them. I know that in most cases homophobia isn’t personal. But for me, it always will be. I’m incredibly lucky to have the happiness and love and acceptance I experience in my marriage, and I can’t conceive of wishing less for anyone else in my life.

Anyway, to wrap up my tirade on a slightly wittier note, here’s an all-star cast from Funny or Die bringing you “Prop 8 – The Musical”:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die