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I see light

As of today, I’m feeling much less submerged. I got through my horrendous annual report analysis project with a respectable grade, no less. I would have just settled for “done”. Starting to find my groove at work, learning how to communicate and respond in a very, very different environment than I’m used to. Michelann does not like it when she cannot control her environment, other’s perceptions of her, and her own sense of inadequacy. All those things that you just really can’t control. Of course, the best way to deal with it would be to GET OVER IT, as my boyfriend has lovingly suggested on several occasions, but I prefer to stress out, cry, feel bad, mope, talk about it far to much, and then get over it. And then find something else to stress out about. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Remember the pictures I posted of the house a few weeks ago? Of course you do. Well, now we’re featured on our designer’s website:

Great pictures, no? It’s a very nice room to hang out in. Next on the agenda is the bedroom. It’s going to be hot pink with purple stripes. Just kidding, David. Oh, wait, David never reads my blog. It really is going to be hot pink, shhh, don’t tell him!

One of the unintended outcomes of my finance class, is my sudden realization of my total financial incompetence. From understanding basic terms, to having the first clue about investment and retirement savings, I have been operating at about a 5th grade level. Except I thought I was a fairly financially savvy adult. I was wrong, so wrong.

I have to spend the weekend writing a research paper for my class, which seems like a happy vacation after the last project. Actual prose! No ratios! Comprehension of what I’m writing! After class, we’re all going drinking. Amen.

I'm a Busy Bee

My life has changed pretty dramatically in the last month or so. My new job is good, but challenging and very, very different. I go to meetings, and we talk about things. Actual things. No posturing, no circular conversations about something completely different than what is being discussed. Actual problem-solving. This is a good thing, but it also calls into sharp relief how comfortable I was with my rapidly atrophying brain in my last work situation.

Add to that the first class at school that has thoroughly kicked my ass. Not that the other classes weren’t challenging, they were. But I’ve recently been reminded of the difference between a challenge and a struggle. This is no fault of my own or anyone else, the class is good, the material is good, the teacher is good. When it comes to most academic learning, I tend to work hard, but hit kind of a groove where I know I’m working with most of my mental capacity. When it comes to finance, it’s an incredibly uphill battle.

This is great stuff to know, but I feel completely illiterate, and as if I have no talent for understanding it at all. Which I probably don’t. Doesn’t mean I can’t learn some of it, but this is definitely not a “follow your bliss” type of topic for me. It’s more like a “trudge unwillingly after your degree requirements” type of topic. I feel like I’ve worked harder and actually learned less than in any class so far. In reality, I have probably learned a great deal, but it’s kind of like someone telling me I don’t know how to read English at age 35. A wee bit disheartening. In 3-6 months I will have a much better idea of what I learned and will feel the beginnings of comfort with the topic, but seven weeks is never enough, even when I have an affinity for the subject.

Winter in Austin (all two months of it) seemed really cold, mostly because I’m a wimp. But it’s in the low 80s this week, so it should be full-on spring by March 1.

In other news, two of my long-time girlfriends gave birth to baby girls halfway across the world from each other at approximately the same time. I get to meet one of them in a few weeks.

I hope all my millions of readers are having a prosperous and happy year so far. I’ll write more when I find where I stashed my clever.