Him: I feel really awful today
Me: Are you getting sick?
Me: What do you think is wrong, then?
Me: What are your symptoms?
Him: *describes symptoms*
Me: Why is it that you are describing the symptoms of the stomach flu, and yet you don’t think you are getting sick?
Him: I’m not getting sick, I am sick.
Me: Aaaahhh! *brain explodes*
Literal man strikes again. I pointed out that he could have avoided the twenty questions if he’d let me know he was making that distinction initially, but his response was the usual, “But then I would have had to use words.”
The scary thing is I am becoming an amazingly astute mind-reading, but I guess my radar was down this time. Maybe I should take up palmistry…